we have all heard about the tragic event in Littleton, Colorado, which has horrified all true believers of God.

Therefore, may I suggest some possible solutions here as an honest and humble admirer of the Land of the Brave!

It is obvious that the problem is not so much the guns and firearms in themselves, but the un-Godly popular music that has seduced these teenagers towards the wicked ways of pure Evil! Furthermore, it is now widely known that these lost youthful souls were fans of the so called "Goth Rock", which is one of the most hideous forms with which Satan himself tries to seduce innocent souls during these apocalyptic end times!

So, my solution is that don't ban guns - since it is the God-given duty of every law-abiding and righteous American to be able to defend his home against the attacks of godless Commies, Moslems, Aliens and other loathsome heathen flocks. No, give more guns to all American citizens, so they will be able to protect themselves against Evil, and, furthermore, bless these arms of the one and only true God with His Holy Water!

Instead, ban all this Satanic music called "rock'n'roll" or "gangsta rap" or "heavy metal", since, yea, it is the root of all evil, that leads the young people towards all sorts of sinful ways: teenage abortions, divorces, blasphemy and Communism! Burn at stake all these Marilyn Mansons and Ice Cubes and Snoop Doggy Doggies of yours, and make them fear the true word of the Almighty! Because, lo and behold, the horrible Day of His Reckoning is coming soon and only those with faith in His true and immortal word will be saved from the furnace of Hell!

Let us pray:

"O yea - even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your M-16 and your Smith & Wesson, they comfort me!" Hallelujah, hear the word of the Lord!

Rock'n'roll star Marylin Manson, the Ambasaddor of Antichrist, and another proof that we are truly living the endtimes!

Charlton Heston - the real man of God!!

As we all remember, Charlton Heston is the head of the National Rifle Association of America, and was also Moses in "The Ten Commandments"! That's why he's exactly the right person to lead the Church of Smith & Wesson.

When Moses, played by Mr. Heston, was one night praying with one of his fellow sisters in faith and ready to give her the guidance of his divine rod, he heard the voice from her burning bush saying: "Lo and behold, I'm thy God, thou shalt not keep any other firearms than Smith & Wesson. M-16, Uzi, Colt and even Kalashnikov will do, if thou have to defend my holy country from the Commies, hippies, gun control activists, pro-abortionists and other pinko faggots".

God gave Moses a vision where the letters "INRI" - written by the mockers and infidels above our Master on His cross -
turned to the letters of fire that read "N A T O". Then Moses knew the time was at hand. In vision he saw the Harlot of Babylon, Saddam Hussein in drag, wearing corset, suspenders and stiletto heels, and this Beast had many heads, alongside Hussein's one of them Milosevic's, one of them Yeltsin's and one Marilyn Manson's. They kept mocking Moses with loathsome words but Moses told them: "Go ahead, make my day, Commie faggots!" and wiped them away with his divine Wacocalyptic bazooka. Amen and Hallelujah, my eyes have seen the coming of the Lord! All major credit cards still accepted. Playstation version coming soon.

J. Edgar Hoover, Joe McCarthy & Nixon - the Holy Men of God!!!

As the Church of Smith & Wesson considers the suitable candidates to be declared as its (Patron) Saints, we have ended up with such names as the chief of the Federal Bureau of Investigations, J. Edgar Hoover, Senator Joseph McCarthy, President Richard Nixon, and possibly later on the Presidents Ronald Reagan and George Bush. All such great men who have worked constantly to save the free world from the threat of Communism! Myriad lies have been spread on these noble men, such as that Hoover was a closet faggot, that McCarthy was a drunkard, that Nixon was a liar and crook; that Reagan was a grade B actor who became a grade Z president; that Bush, as the head of CIA, ordered to kill hundreds of people home and abroad in secret covert operations, but let it be known that these rumours are spread by Godless liberal pinko Commies, and they are all blatant lies! Truly, J. Edgar Hoover was no womanizer which just goes to show what a righteous and God-fearing man he was; that without the invaluable work McCarthy and Nixon did to save America from the Red Threat and Reagan and Bush did to stop the Evil Empires of Soviet Union and Saddam's Iraq respectively, the free world would have fallen apart ages ago! Remember the invaluable work CIA did in Guatemala, Chile and El Salvador to prevent South America falling into Communism, one country after another like dominoes! Remember that Mr. Reagan returned daily prayers to schools and put America again back to the ways of the Almighty; that Bush's administration helped our brothers in faith, the Contras of El Salvador, in another battle against the Red Menace, for which they crucified his loyal aide, Oliver North, as they did to our Master nearly 2.000 years ago! Truly, the power of prayer does miracles! Hallelujah!

Even Elvis abandoned his sinful rock'n'roll music when he found through President Nixon - Lord's faithful servant - the True, Pure and Only God!

Better Living Through The Word Of Jesus!!

The Word of Jesus is the best sedative and the most potent stimulant, afrodiziac and laxative!!! The calming words of the Scriptures are the Prozac and Valium that will soothe one's soul and the Revelations are the ultimate psychedelic, LSD, ecstasy and magic mushrooms!!

Teletubbies are Satanic Faggots!!

Jerry Falwell was right!!! Teletubbies are a conspiracy of Satanic Limey Faggots to turn pure American children into Homosexuals!!!

It has come to our knowledge that the English are now broadcasting in the USA their latest "Cult" television show called "Teletubbies". As a concerned Christian I have to point out that this show is an outrageous effort to spread European Homosexualism, Satanism and Drug Culture to these shores! As a fellow believer, Jerry Falwell, has already noticed, one of the show's characters, called "Tinky-Winky", is colored purple and carries around a purse. You may ask me what is wrong with this, so let me tell you what is horribly, horribly wrong there! This fantasy character, wearing a ladies' handbag, speaks with a male voice!!! And, as the honored Mr. Falwell has additionally pointed out, the color purple is closely connected with homosexuality! So, let me ask you, what is the message the producers are trying to bring forward in the Television show - that is meant for the infant children??? Yes, essentially the are saying that it's "OK" to be "Gay" and it's "OK" to have a ladies' handbag - even though you spoke with a male voice!!! As we can see here, an innocuous-looking children's show is everything but innocuous! And let me add here some of my own observations on this most unfortunate TV show - protected by the shield of prayers and blessings from the fellow members of our congregation I willingly exposed myself this Satanic "work of art". And let me share some of my own insights here: not only homosexual, this show also had not-so-subtle nods towards the direction of Drug Culture! Just one episode has myriads of "hidden" messages that would open only for a drug addict: a drinker of Haschish or to the one who would inject psychodelic drugs regularly!!! The flowers would speak, the main characters would spend hours in activities incomprehensible to a straight-headed observer; they would see visual hallucinations and so on. The show seemed to be chock full of filthy coded messages. The dirtiest detail to your humble messenger of God seemed to be the "Tubbyhug", where all four characters would embrace each other simultaneously, indicating for a sharp-eyed observer Homo-Sexual group sex orgy!!! And how about the "antennas" these supposedly cuddly and innocent characters had on their heads? Of course, they were nothing but Devil's horns!!! Now you understand why I got so worried! My strong opinion is that this show called "Teletubbies" should be banned immediately everywhere it is shown, and no pornographic presentation there is can be worse than this show!!!

Abortion Is SIN!!

Everyone of us is the ultimate proof against abortion: o, my brother or sister, you wouldn't be able to read these very lines if you had been aborted in your time!!! Like the Chinese Communists eating babies and Nazis making soap out of them, these awful atrocities still go on, so gun down and explode all these Godless sinners in the name of His True and Immortal Word! If you are truly Pro-Life and love life, the God-given gift to all His children, destroy all these aborticians, bomb the abortion clinics and hunt and gun down the abortion doctors, like the mad dogs they are!!!! No death can be too horrible for these people!

Jesus Was A Patriot!!!

Indeed, if Our Master and Lord would come back today, he'd be fighting against the Governmental corruption of Liberals, Commies and Faggots as a Patriot Militiaman, like he fought Romans of his own time! Therefore, follow the example of Jesus and His Divine Militia of Twelve Disciples and arm yourself for the forthcoming Second American Civil War and Armageddon!

Salvation Through Superior Firepower!!!

Vengeance is mine, says the Lord, and horrendous will be the day He shall unleash His wrath on the Godless, the adulterers, the immoral and those into premarital sex and Communism! I've seen the vision and I've seen the signs that the end is coming soon: they teach at our schools evolution theory and tell our children we are nothing but monkeys hanging from trees! They smear the innocent young minds with their sex education! They mock all our traditional values and eradicate the moral fiber of nation! Mark my words, because in Hell you shall burn forever, with Lucifer poking your asses with his Satanic pitchfork unless you will take Jesus to your hearts and your souls as your one and only Saviour! The blood of Lamb has been shed for us so that we would be saved!

It is all predicted in the Scriptures, and I can see it clearly in front of my very eyes! And in the Revelations our inevitable destiny is unveiled, as the righteous and God-fearing Army of America and NATO shall have its final apocalyptic battle on the Godless, atheist, Communist forces of Russia and China and all their allies! God destroyed with His might Eastern Bloc and He destroyed the Warsaw Pact, but the greatest battle of Armageddon is still in front of us! Yea, our cruise missiles, Apache helicopters, Stealth bombers and mighty B52's strike like a swarm of locusts on the Godless hordes of Commies! As the Massive Retaliation undergoes on the forces of Evil, Jesus will redeem Earth through nuclear fire and brimstone! For in the war against the faithless, napalm is Manna from Heaven, and nuclear bomb is a powerful weapon in the hands of the Righteous! God will punish his enemies with His nuclear fingers! But those who are willing to take Jesus into their hearts shall be saved! For Jesus shall be the Sheriff in the heavenly town of the Kingdom Come where His Father shall be the Mayor! Are you ready to denounce Satan and all his works?

In this picture we see another proof that America is currently under the Reign of Devil: President Clinton giving a "secret" Satanic Signal on his Inauguration Day in 1993!!! And here's more shocking photographic evidence that Clinton is trying to corrupt nation's youth!!!

More photographic evidence mocking the True Religion of Our Lord Jesus Christ!! This kind of blasphemous material can be found on the Inter-Net. The "Gay" version of The Last Dinner, with a pervert mockery of Our Lord having a supper with harlots and transverstites!!!!

God Has his own guerilla war against the unfaithful. The final Civil War will be held in Armageddon between Good and Evil. The Bill of Rights is nothing compared to his Divine Law. When the time of the Final Judgement arrives, we are all on trial, and God will be our judge, with Jesus as a defendant and Satan as a prosecutor, with St. Peter as a bailiff on God's right side. We are all soldiers of Ye Almighty. Send money to the Holy Church of Smith & Wesson and be saved by His Holy Word! All major credit cards accepted. Amen and God Bless America!

Yer Faithful Brother of The Church of Smith & Wesson,
Reverend Phineas B. Hackenbush

Links of our Brothers and Sisters in Faith:

Apocalypse - The End Is Nigh, whatever the Atheist Commies try to say here!!!
Biblical Basis For Gun Ownership!!!!!!
The John Birch Society!
Bridged Chasm - What Serves To Bridge The Abyss Of Your Eternity????
Jack Chick - God's Own Cartoonist!!!
The Christian Gallery!!!
Christian Guide To Small Arms!!!
Christians For The Cloning Of Jesus
CIA - The Lord's Warriors in the International Fight on Communism!
FBI - fighting Communism in America!
God Hates Fags - indeed, He does!!!
Good Morals!!!
Texe Marrs - Power Of Prophecy
National Rifle Association
NATO - The True Fortress of God!
The Old-Time Gospel Hour with Jerry Falwell
Patriot Links!!!
Seven Seals
Smith & Wesson - An American Tradition Since 1852, And God's Powerful Weapon!!
Ten Commandments!!!!
The Triumph of Christianity: Anti-Masturbation Equipment

If you want to stay pure, don't read this link!!!